Today is my 28th birthday – holy moly. If you’ve followed my blog over the last year, you know that it’s been a wild 365 days [to say the least], but I intended it to be! 🙂
This post is LONG, and kind of personal, but I wanted to write it for me. If you do read through it, I hope that it inspires or resonates with you. I also hope it makes some kind of sense, it’s currently 4:08AM — eeeek! Enjoy! XO
So I know that I’ve been quieter than normal [online that is] over the past week. As my birthday approached, I opted not to blog, and found myself doing a whole lot of reflecting about the year. I put it out there that 27 was going to be my year. I was going to do all these big things, step outside my comfort zone, and really make it a game changer year. Looking back, I think it was just that.
Last year around this time, I was in a completely different place. Physically + mentally. Turning 27 was very hard for me. My life was absolutely nothing like I had imagined it would be at this age, and I kind of felt like I had failed myself. Turning 27 felt a whole lot like turning 26…and 25…and 24…and 23…and 22. I was still in the exact same spot I had been since graduating college. Life wasn’t bad, but it was very “normal”. I really wanted something more, but I didn’t know what.
Ironically, Rachel Platten’s Fight Song was constantly getting radio play around this time and it made me bawl my little eyes out every single time I heard it. It still does. I swear that song came into my life at the perfect time. A time when I felt like I didn’t have any options. I wanted to take back my life, and I didn’t care if nobody else believed in me [luckily, a lot of people believed in me lol], but I wanted more for myself, I knew I was capable of more, and I knew that I had to be the one to make it happen…
Alright, lets rewind to the beginning of this “27” journey…
The funniest part about this day last year, is where my mind initially was. I booked a consultation with a plastic surgeon on my birthday. I was debating a cosmetic procedure that I thought was going to completely change my life – it was going to be the first game changing move of my 27th year! I was so happy to go to this appointment and I thought that I was going to leave with an operation date booked! Let’s just say it went nothing like that.
I left feeling more down on myself than I already had been. I remember getting home, going into the bathroom and just crying. The appointment had not gone like I had hoped, and the first “game-changing” thing I planned to do was a flop. Very soon after, it hit me right between the eyes that no surgery was going to fix the way that I felt. I had to start working on myself from the inside out. To be happy, I had to create a life that felt that way. So I began…
The first few months were actually pretty terrible. In order to feel good, I had to eliminate what was making me feel bad. And to do that, I had to be brutally honest with myself. This meant giving up on things, people, and places that weren’t bringing me joy. I didn’t want to let go of some of them, but I knew that I needed to. There comes a point when you realize that you’re unhappy because you’re choosing to be. We must always be the biggest advocate for our lives + never settle for less than we deserve.
From there, I started to take care of myself physically. I finally addressed some concerning health issues that up until this point seemed easier to ignore, my doctor helped me find a cure for my chronic headaches, I cleaned out my living space, redecorated my bedroom, and enrolled in a 3 month yoga class.
Once my body + mind were feeling better, I had to figure out what I wanted to do in terms of a career. I began to think about all of the things that I really loved, the things I was good at, and the things that I could already do. I started to focus all of my free time + attention to my blog. My blog has been around since 2012 [go back if you dare lol], but I never really embraced or promoted it. To be honest, I never looked at it as a potential “job”, it was just fun. However, over the years I had seen hundreds of girls make careers out of their blogs, so I decided that it was time to really take mine seriously as well. I had to put in more work, more time, + really put it out there without any hesitations or fears of what others would think.
The hours I devoted were insane. Many nights of staying up until 2-3AM editing posts, and waking up early to snap photos before work so I could catch the sunlight that’d be gone when I’d get home. I’d spend my weekends glued to my computer editing WordPress code, brainstorming ideas, building a media kit, working on my social accounts, designing business cards — it became a full time job. And come Fall, it was starting to pay off. I began receiving e-mails from readers, other bloggers, PR companies, and affiliate networks…brands were interacting with me regularly, sharing my content and posting my photos!
I was being contacted to see if I had ever thought about speaking on TV, if I cleaned out closets or did any personal shopping. I started attending different events + meeting really cool people. I was watching myself do what I always wanted, but never thought I could do!
Come the New Year, I created my first vision board and laid my goals in front of me. I made the decision to leave my full time job + pursue this blog full force. I was legitimately giddy at the thought of having 24 hours a day to do this! I will be honest, having this time at your disposal can be difficult. I had to really set some boundaries + rules so that I could be as productive as possible. I slowly began to figure it out. 🙂
While I was just getting used to my new life, my boyfriend was presented with some great opportunities for his career…in LA! My sister had just flown off to Italy to begin her semester abroad, and my parents were about to spend six weeks traveling Europe as well! My world did crumble a bit — my whole support system was up and leaving me lol. I couldn’t blame any of them [these were good things after all], but I had to try and make the best of the situation. Lucky for me, I had a handful of incredible girlfriends to hold me down!
I was getting into a groove when all of a sudden, I had the opportunity to spend a month in Europe! I didn’t really have anything holding me back…and when you get the opportunity to spend a month in Europe, you take it [lessons I learned from LC]! It ended up being the most incredible time of my life. I was in the most beautiful city, with some of the most important people, living in what felt like a dream world.
Fast forward through that trip, and I was back home before I knew it! The lease on our condo was up at the end of the month and my roommate and I decided not to stay. We had been there for six years + wanted to move out for a while…now was finally the time. So we both packed up at the end of April. 🙁
In the month and a half since we moved, I’ve just been working my tush off! I launched my YouTube channel, I’ve been in touch with some wonderful new brands + I’m continuing to explore all kinds of opportunities that come my way! Life isn’t perfect, but it is pretty darn good. And the best part? I feel good. 🙂
I had a moment where I wondered if 27 was all that I cracked it up to be — and although I’m not exactly where I want to be, I’m a heck of a lot closer than I was. Going into this new year, I know that I’m a different woman. I’m a more confident woman, a happier woman, a woman who knows what she wants, what she deserves, and what she’s capable of. This was such a growing year for me. It was a foundation year. I laid the bricks, I prepared, I focused, and I hustled. And I don’t plan on stopping. 🙂
So, 28… I’m looking at you with hungryyyy eyes, let me see what you’ve got! 🙂
From the bottom of my heart, thank you to every person who reads my blog. Thank you to those who take the time to leave me comments, those who send me e-mails or FB messages, those who consistently share + support… it means the world to me!
Back to our regularly scheduled content next week — I’ve got some good stuff coming your way! 🙂