I am so happy to be back with another Becoming Bella post today! I promised I was going to get better about sharing them more regularly, and I’m doing my best to stick to it!
Warning: like the last one, this is a bit lengthy, but I think it’ll be a really great read. So let’s get right into it! Regarding the title of this blog…yes, I know…dramaaaa! But it’s not what you may think. This is not a diary entry about feeling sad or lonely, it’s quite the opposite really. I’m going to talk about something that many of us have been fearful of at one point or another…
The thoughts & opinions of other people.
This series began because I wanted to talk about the things that I’ve struggled with, overcome, and realized that I became better for it. This may have been one of my biggest feats yet!
If you can say that you have never once wondered what someone thought of you, I’m calling your bluff. Maybe you don’t feel that way now, but at one point you surely have. If you’ve been lucky enough to get to a point in life where the thoughts of others really don’t phase you, you know how liberating it can be. When we waste our time concerned about what other people think about us, and what we’re doing, we hold ourselves back. We prevent ourselves from growing, learning, exploring, or trying something new! For what?! For the fear of being criticized, laughed at, or made fun of? Fun fact: the “people” that we’re so worried about are A) probably not paying attention or b) really don’t care.
Okay, that sounds a little bit dramatic. Of course there are people who care. Our families and close friends are usually our biggest cheerleaders, they’re usually the first to try and push us out of our comfort zone, to encourage and support us in all that we do! The people who care are not usually the “people” we’re worried about.
So who exactly are we worried about? It could be the millions of people out there in the social media world (trolls included), the Facebook friends we’ve accumulated over the last 10 years, our former acquaintances, old classmates, co-workers, or distant relatives, perhaps? Here’s the thing… whether one of those people or thousands of those people catch wind of what you’re up to, one of a few things could happen; they may smile, they may laugh, they may roll their eyes, they may say something supportive, or maybe say something not so supportive…but once their opinion has been shared or their thought has been had, they’re going to move on. And we should too, because in reality, and in the nicest possible way…they don’t actually care.
When we’re scared to do something because of what others will think or say, we’re doing ourselves a major disservice. Realistically, what is the worst thing that could happen? Someone decides to make fun of you? If you’re doing something that you love, that you’re passionate about…who cares what they do or think? At the end of the day, that’s their problem, not yours. I give credit to anyone who truly puts themselves out there. I enjoy watching others pursue their passions without any hesitation. It keeps me motivated and inspired to continue doing the same. Cultivate a circle of those people. Do not be afraid to pursue your dreams because you’re scared of what people will think. The only person who is losing sleep over what you’re doing…is you.
Writing this blog and creating YouTube videos has become such a passion of mine, and something I had wanted to do for years! However, it was definitely something that I was fearful of embracing. I kick myself thinking about all of the time I wasted wondering if me or my content would be good enough, I was worried what others would think. But once I faced my own fears and bit that bullet, once I dove all in, once I just left my comfort zone, took this head on, and started doing it for me, I stared living a completely different life!
I’ve gotten to a point where I am completely unfazed by others opinions of me, and the things that I love to do. Of course I want people to enjoy the content that I’m creating, I hope it reaches eyes that will find it helpful, and nothing makes me happier than receiving positive feedback! But the days of being hesitant to write a certain blog post, or share an Instagram picture, or film a new YouTube video for fear of what others may think are long gone. Sometimes I create content that’s a really big hit, and sometimes I create content that’s a realllllly big miss. But at end of the day, I enjoy putting it together, and I’m doing these things for me. If I stopped producing posts, if I stopped speaking from my heart, if I held myself back because of fear…I wouldn’t literally be watching my dreams unfold before my eyes! I wouldn’t get to collaborate with some of the incredible brands that I’ve had the opportunity to collaborate with. I wouldn’t get invited to be a part of things like the No nonsense Campaign that I shot in NYC last week (can’t wait to share when it’s done)! As I was sitting on the set, I was watching this whole production crew operate, and I couldn’t believe what I was doing, I couldn’t believe they were setting this up for ME?! I actually felt tears well. It may not seem like a huge deal to anyone else, but for me, it was major. It was a very, very cool experience that I’ll cherish forever. But it just helped reiterate the point of this post (which I had actually drafted a couple of weeks beforehand!)…if I continued to be scared to put myself and my work out there, why would I EVER think that these opportunities would just happen? If I want a life that I’m proud of, a life that I love, a life that makes me happy, I’ve got to make it happen. And I can’t be scared to do it!
Hard work pays off people! You won’t always win, but you’ll always learn. And your “failures” will end up serving you in the most wonderful of ways.
To quote one of the best movies from the early 2000’s, A Cinderella Story (don’t fight me on this!) ;)…
“Don’t let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game”
The takeaway here is this… if you want to do something, do it. And do it for you! Don’t worry what anyone thinks. People are so busy worrying about their own lives, if they even take a moment to pay attention to you, good or bad, you should be flattered! This is your life, if you don’t go after what you want, I promise you…you’ll never have it.