Hi Babes! Long time no blog. Yesterday was my 30th birthday. I can’t believe it’s finally here. I’ve been saying I was 30 for a year and a half, so now it feels like I’m ahead of the game! Although I’ve enjoyed my break from blogging, and may not be 100% ready, it’s time to start easing back into the swing of things around here. (I really did miss it!)
I’ve only been gone for about a month, but it feels like so much longer than that. Thank you to everyone who called, texted, e-mailed, or tried to get in touch in some way, shape, or form. I honestly didn’t expect to completely fall off the face of the internet, but the more time I spent signed off …the more I really appreciated the recess.
I don’t think it’s necessary to dive into any detailed explanation, but a few weeks back, I had to close a very special chapter of my life. My world was turned upside down and I needed a little time to digest everything that was going on. I feel like my heart is at the core of everything I do, both personally and professionally, so when it’s feeling a little broken, everything else feels that way too. With 30 on the horizon, I wanted to use my time off responsibly so that I could walk into this new decade with a clean slate, a clear mind, and a crystal clear understanding of what I want in life.
We all know that we’re responsible for our own happiness, and sometimes to get there, we have to do some really hard things. We have to walk away from people that we don’t want to walk away from, leave places that are scary to leave, and take a good, hard, honest look at ourselves. No one wants to face their flaws or failures or fears, but doing so only helps us in the long run. So that’s what I did.
I postponed collaborations if I could, I bailed on the ones that I couldn’t, and I deleted all social media apps off of my phone. I probably ruined some professional relationships, but sometimes there are more important things to take care of. This check out was no joke and I suddenly found myself with quite a bit of free time! I started tracking my moods and writing, I read 4 books, listened to 5, rediscovered my love for Soduku (#nerdalert. Not to brag, but I’m like really good. Are there any kind of Soduku Olympics?! I want to try out LOL), I spent a ton of time with family and girlfriends, I cried, laughed, I talked to everyone, I talked to no one, I went to the beach, went to the movies, cuddled with my dog, felt completely numb, felt completely alive, drove around late at night with my sister, drank a few too many gallons of Paisano (not while driving), and just lived offline for a quick bit (I might start checking out the month before my birthday every year!)
At some point, we all break. But there comes a time when you have to put yourself back together and start moving forward. I debated whether or not I would share this post for so long, but every time I’ve opened my heart, it brought something positive into my life. I’ve recently clung to the words of women who changed the trajectory of their lives and it made me feel so much less scared and less alone. So, I want to offer that to someone else who may need to hear it…
- Put yourself first. It’s not selfish. Especially if you don’t have a spouse or family yet.
- Don’t settle, and don’t be afraid to seek everything you want in life.
- Love people the best you know how, but don’t forget to love yourself too.
- Learn to be happy simply being you.
- Treat the hearts of others with nothing but care and respect.
- Always follow and listen to your own heart. Be brave enough to break it, and be strong enough to piece it back together. Everything will work out in the end.
…And just like that, 30 is here. I’m so glad I took the last month to just be. I was so thankful that I woke up yesterday feeling the way that I did. While 30 looks absolutely nothing like I imagined, hoped, or wanted it to, I suppose it looks exactly as it’s meant to. I do believe that God has a bigger plan than we do. I do believe that every person that comes into our life serves as a lesson or a blessing, and sometimes both. Each person helps guide us towards the path we’re ultimately meant to go. While it may be hard to see or understand in the moment, I trust that one day I’ll look back and it will all make so much sense.
I have to say, I’m optimistic about my thirties. I can’t help but believe that everything will finally begin to fall into place.
(You’re lying if you don’t hear the intro to Liz Phair’s ‘Why Can’t I’ while looking at this gif!)
I feel so many different things right now …excited, vulnerable, motivated, but most importantly, loved. If nothing else, the last month has made me so grateful for all of the people in my life. I’m not sure what I did to deserve that kind of love and loyalty. Especially from my sister. 🙂
So since it was just my birthday, I’d love for you to leave me a little gift in the comments. I want to know the best life advice you’ve ever been given; and for the 30+ crowd, tell me something I have to look forward to!
I want to thank everyone who takes the time to read this blog, many of you have been here for years and I appreciate your presence, friendship, and support so much. Here’s to a bright & beautiful future for us all! …And some more great beauty products too. 😉