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Happy Monday! This post is months overdue, but I’m so glad that I’ve finally gotten around to writing it…

I really don’t like starting things and then abandoning them, but this series does have a reason for falling off the radar…and I plan to tell you why. So get yourself a cup of something yummy & settle in for a few minutes. This post is a bit longer than normal but a necessary read to understand the direction my blog will be taking this year. I hope you understand & enjoy! XO

So I created Becoming Bella in an effort speak openly & honestly about some of the struggles many women face when it comes to loving themselves for the beautiful & unique individuals that they are. Over the last 18 months I had been experiencing internal growth at a very rapid rate and was consistently garnering new insight  that I was compelled to share with anyone & everyone that I could — in hopes that they could feel it too! Like most things in life, feelings change, and over I’d say the last 4 months or so, my euphoric attitude began to dissolve. Crap.

I couldn’t figure out what had happened. Life was getting me down, my blog was getting me down, so many different things had me feeling down. I had hunches, but no solid evidence to explain this emotional struggle I was going through. It didn’t hit me until recently, but when it did it smacked me right between the eyes. I lost my freaking pep!

This initially seemed like an odd thing to write about, but I’ve always tried to be very honest & transparent here. After speaking with a few people about it, I realized this is not an uncommon thing. A lot of us lose our pep! And after being someone who had quite a bit of pep, I knew that I wanted to do everything in my power to get it back.

First, I had to figure out where the heck my pep went …and why. Over the last year, I put a lot of time and effort into my blog and reaped some incredible benefits from doing so. At the same time, I constantly felt that I needed to be producing more valuable content, more quality images, and more unique material. I felt like my effort was no longer good enough… I had to be better! Creating posts was becoming all about the production & less about the authenticity. I cannot even tell you how many drafts are sitting in the queue because I wasn’t satisfied with them (38). You wouldn’t believe how many perfectly decent photographs I couldn’t bear to Instagram because they didn’t fit well in my feed – ugh, so dumb. In turn, my blogging schedule suffered, my social media accounts suffered, and I, myself suffered. There were times that it felt like too much to keep up with, and I considered pulling the plug on my blog. I thought that maybe it would be easier to quit all of it, and move on with life. But honestly, giving up seemed crazy! I worked incredibly hard to build this site… and at one time, well many times, it brought me more joy than anything! Then it kind of clicked. I was trying to turn my blog into something that it wasn’t & it was turning me into someone that I wasn’t too.

Once I was able to identify what was happening, I knew there had to be a way to fix it. So, what do you do to get your pep back after you’ve lost it? Or how do you find it if you feel that you’ve never had it? The answer is too simple. It’s something you’ve surely heard before but something you actually have to believe & physically do for said “pep” to arrive…

you just have to be you.

Seriously, that is IT. No matter what you’re doing in life, you have to do it in a way that only you can. With the pep that only you have. In my personal experience, anytime that I’ve put myself out there, my honest self, I’ve attracted all of the right things. The right collaborations, the right opportunities, and the right audience. By being me, I’m able to engage with people who I can connect with on a more intimate level. Engagement is everything, and when you find people who can not only read, but FEEL what you’re saying…you’re doing things right. It’s so important to remember that it’s not about quantity, it is about quality. Unfortunately, we live in a numbers-driven society and it’s very easy to be distracted or consumed with getting more followers, subscribers, likes, or comments. But don’t be. Cultivate quality, because quality will attract more quality…and before you know it, you’ll have an abundance of it.

Luckily,  the New Year arrived with some fresh opportunities that really peaked my interest and provided me with the little kick in the tush that I needed. I’ve decided to take on 2017 with all the pep in the world and move forward with my blog, and my life as only I can do.

I want to get back to talking with you! I want to start real conversations again and feel excited or inspired by every single thing I put out there. For me, this blog is about more than the products, the clothes, the accessories – which do not get it twisted, I absolutely love & will always continue to share 😉 , but I want the verbiage to change. I want to be a little more real, I just want to be me.

Point of the story IS… we all go through phases in life. The only consistent thing about life is the ups and downs. Things will always be changing, but we have the power to respond to those changes. Don’t give up on something you love, let yourself get down, or fall into a negative space because things don’t seem like they’re working out. Figure out why they’re not working & what you can do to change that. For me, I had accidentally walked astray (as I write this I wonder if anyone noticed? To me it seemed so obvious!) I cringe because I knew not to fall into this trap (I had literally written about not falling into this trap!). I had paid a little too much attention to what others were doing and felt that my approach was no longer sufficient, effective, or strong enough. I was SO, so wrong. My approach works because it’s mine. And yours works because it’s yours. Not everyone is going to love you or your work but that’s OK, everyone doesn’t have to.

I’ve already drafted a few posts that feel more “me”, and I’ve kind of fallen in love with blogging again… I’m very much looking forward to sharing my new content with you! 🙂 You may notice that my posts will begin to read a bit differently, or maybe just read a little bit like they used to? Growth is crucial. It’s important to learn, progress, and advance in life, but sometimes we flourish best when we stay true to who we are.

I hope that you all find, keep, and nourish your pep this year because it’s worth finding; we deserve to feel inspired, and if nothing else…it makes waking up & living life a heck of a lot more fun!

Have you ever felt like you lost your pep? How did you get it back?


PS: Good Vibes Only t-shirt is available for sale at!

53 comments on “Becoming Bella: Giving up?”

  1. Could not love this more!!! Thank you for being so open and honest. It’s so true that we all go through ups and downs, compare ourselves with others when we should focus on being ourselves, lose our zeal sometimes. By being who you are and putting yourself out there the way you have, you’ve shared something we can all relate to, I’m sure. I know I can. For me, I have to do exactly what you did. I must remind myself what qualities make me unique and special and also what things about me make me like everyone else. It’s nice to know that someone like you, who seems to have it all together, has the same struggles the rest of us do. Can’t wait to see where 2017 takes you!

    • Thank you so much for the sweet words, Connie! It is definitely easy to get down on yourself & feel like you aren’t measuring up. I feel like I was trying to pump out content because I had to, not because I wanted to…and that’s no way to run a blog! It always makes me laugh when anyone thinks I have it together, because that is most certainly not the case! LOL I do love being able to share things like this because I think it’s important. I definitely struggle as much as the next person & I have no shame admitting that! Thank you for taking the time to read this post & for leaving such a wonderful comment. I really do appreciate it so much!! XO

  2. Love your honesty. 🙂 I think, at some point, we all lose our “pep”. I started the year with a lot of gusto, and then I got sick, and now am just getting better and my “umph”, or momentum is kind of gone. I’m in a creative black hole lol, and I know I need to step up my game. Hopefully I’ll be able to pull out soon, just like you. I’m looking forward to all of your new posts. You are ALWAYS such an inspiration. 😉

    • Thank you Angie!! Ugh, the pep is definitely tricky to maintain, but without it, there’s almost no point! You’ve got to feel inspired about what you’re doing & I was definitely lacking some inspo. Your blog has grown so much! The creative black hole is sometimes inevitable, but when you find yourself in it, I think it’s worth taking a moment, regrouping, and figuring out what it is that’ll help you get out of it instead of trying to push through just because! My posts may not have seemed terribly different to anyone, but some of them were definitely written with very little motivation or excitement & I hated that. Here’s to an exciting & inspiring new year for all of us!! XO

  3. Great post girl! I know EXACTLY how you feel! Sometimes that pep goes away and you just have to take a step back and take a break and just start doing whatever it is that brings you joy. Then you can circle back and reevaluate things! You’re definitely not alone, and I think this post was inspiring! Looking forward to reading your new stuff!!

    • Thanks for the kind words Allison!! I’m so glad I’m not alone! The more I spoke to other bloggers/friends/family about this “rut” if you will, the less strange I felt about being in it! lol I started blogging for fun & because I was genuinely excited to share some of my favorite things! Once more companies started reaching out I didn’t want to say no, but I ended up with a ton of things I had no desire to post about. And then I’d never post about them, which in turn was a bad look on my part lol. No more of that!! I’m with you, take some time to do whatever brings you joy, get reinspired & come back stronger than before! Thank you for taking the time to read this crazy long post haha, I really do appreciate it!! XOXO

  4. This is super inspiring! I went through this a few months ago. I posted about once a month and was super unhappy with the content. I got over it and posted more and tried to get my pep back! I look forward to some more blog posts! <3

    • Aww, I’m glad you were able to come out of it!! It’s hard when your posting schedule takes a hit because you’ve lost your pep. It’s even harder when you’re writing about things that you really aren’t inspired by! I’m glad that you’re in a better place now! Thank you so much for taking the time to read & comment, it means a lot. Keep up your amazing work!! XO

  5. I really admire your courage of putting this out there and I hope your pep returns full swing! I do know how you feel. I’m really glad you stayed in blogging because I always look forward to reading your work! 🙂 I pulled the plug on mine a couple months ago but I got the holiday blues so I wanted my work to go in a more positive direction and it was suffering as a result.

    I’ve been in Argentina for 9 months now – can you believe it?? So next week is finally my immigration appointment and I finally got the $1100 paperwork I’ve been requesting from the US last week. Their school year finally starts in 2 weeks and they don’t start hiring until right up on that week! Last night I was talking to a gf on the phone. I wanted to give up…just before the finish line! I wanted to take the old toxic job and toxic boss back and go back to the states because that’s what “normal” people would do. Sorry, but all the people I know in business are miserable. We were all lying in our interviews. “What are your 3 biggest flaws?” If we answered honestly, we’d never get hired. Instead we lie and we get jobs we’re not fit for. And after all this way I wanted to go back there for what exactly? Keeping up with the Joneses?

    Don’t give up before you reach the finish line. WP is a totally positive community that got me through a ton of stuff and are closer to me than people that I’ve known for years. Idk what you need personally but I always find it’s encouragement, not to be confused with validation. The people who really love you will cheer you on. 🙂

    • Oh I love this comment! First off, thank you! For the kind words which are always written so eloquently! And for sharing your story with me! I cannot believe you’ve been gone for 9 months!! How incredible that you’re so close to the finish line – stick it out!! 🙂 The thing is that I have such supportive people in my life — some who believe in me more than I do at times, but I didn’t really focus on all of the good & I let a lot of other things get me down. My blog started to define me, and while it is a huge part of my life, when I felt like it was turning into something that I wasn’t…I kind of wanted to disassociate from it. So strange. But it’s time to get back to blogging for fun…and about things I genuinely love (not to say everything I’ve shared lately was uninspired, many posts I loved! But some of them were just blahhh lol)! It’s so much more fulfilling to be passionate about your work & I think people can really feel your that when you’re being honest and being you! I wish you so much luck with your job & I hope everything works out for you! I just keep reminding myself that so many people give up. It’s SO easy to just quit. To make something happen you’ve got to stick it out – go the extra mile, it’s never crowded!! 🙂 XO

      • That’s true! It is never crowded. I like that! I love your blog and it inspires me to be happy and pretty and girly and I’m glad I have support of great people like you in my life too! I’m really glad you kept going and continue to do it for you and do it for fun! <3

  6. Amanda, this is BEAUTIFUL!!!!! My blog is still fairly new and my main goal with it is just to let it be me, like you’re saying here, and more recently, after establishing a writing schedule and getting the hang of blogging, I’ve been getting more caught up in the same negative things you’re experiencing here… (the numbers, the more perfect posts, photos, etc.)
    I absolutely love how open and honest you are here and I think you’re pinpointed the exact problem and the exact solution: just to do what is authentically you, and I love that!!
    Anyway, so so glad I took the time to read this post, it’s awesome, and something I needed to hear, so thank you!!! Can’t wait to read more from you. Peace & blessings <3

    • Thank you so much for reading, girl!! It is so so easy to get caught up in those things! The perfect bloggers, the perfect Instagrammers, they’re fascinating…they’re gorgeous, they’re so consistent, but they’re not me. I really am not that person lol. I have no idea how to maintain a life like that, so when I tried, it felt nearly impossible to keep up! I feel like I was making much more headway when I wasn’t as concerned with those things & was just being myself. We all have something unique to offer & just because it looks different compared to what someone else in a similar arena is doing, doesn’t make it wrong. I hope you continue to blog & feel inspired about what you’re writing! That’s the most important thing at the end of the day! Thank you again for taking the time to read & leave this sweet comment. It means a lot! XOXO

  7. Such a great post, girl!! I can relate to almost everything you said but I will say, I hadn’t noticed that you veered off track but maybe because I haven’t followed you long enough. I always love what you post and always feel like I’m getting the real you! Which is a huge reason in why I follow someone. It’s never forced or fake with you. That is rare in this community 😬 I’m so excited for you and can’t wait to see what you have planned!!!

    – Mary

    • Thank you so much for stopping by, Mary!! My blog has definitely changed a bit over the last year, it hasn’t been terribly drastic, but I felt that it was beginning to go in a direction that I really wasn’t excited about. I just found myself agreeing to some things that I wasn’t really feeling, just to keep up appearances. Not every post was a wash, but there were a handful that I literally had zero interest in photographing, writing, or promoting…some collabs that I agreed to never even made it onto my blog! That’s sad to me…and really unprofessional lol. I didn’t know why I was putting in all this time just to feel “meh” about my work. I’m so grateful to have such a wonderful support system in my life, but also on here & on IG – you girls are incredible & so inspiring!! I’m looking forward to approaching my blog with more enthusiasm & passion this year, that’s the only way anyone should approach it!! Thank you again for reading & for the kind words! You’re wonderful! 🙂 XOXO

  8. Hello beauty!
    I very much appreciate your feelings! Last year I felt this exact way, and I found the root of my problems being that I was stuck in the same spot I’d been for many years, while I had this huge dream of moving to California that was just out of reach because I was afraid.. I was afraid of going after this dream because I was comfortable in my life routine-I could do it well and get by. Moving required a lot of changes; learning new things, letting go of the past, making new friends, and a lot of unknowns. What I have found from many conversations with all sorts of people is so many let fear dissolve their dreams. The repeating response when I finally followed through and made my dream a reality was “I wish I could do that!” and I say you CAN! I am not anything more or less than anyone else, we are all given the same 24 hours a day, and I hope that following my dream inspires those that say “I wish” to do something to help themselves achieve their own. We only have one life, and I don’t plan on having a regret of “I wish I actually did that.” Thanks for being vulnerable and sweet and thanks for letting me relate!

    • I LOVE THIS!!!! Thank you so much for sharing your story!!! This is so, so true. I was in the exact same “stuck” place & I did make the jump!! But once you jump, I think you get a little bit addicted to that feeling & once it settles, you want to feel it again. I’m ready to make another jump in life & I know that I just have to do it, I’ve been hemming & hawing. We are responsible for our own happiness & we’re just doing ourselves a disservice by not putting our desires into action & allowing ourselves the happiness we deserve! Just do it!!!! 🙂 Thank you again for stopping by, I loved reading this!! 🙂 XOXO

  9. I wish there was a big LOVE button! I would hit 100 times… Loved reading this and I know you are so passionate about blogging. You are always so real and true and I totally the crazy social media world!!! Its such a crazy technology world out there and I can barely keep up with it all. Good for you for putting yourself out there and writing something so dear to your heart… Cant wait to see and read more from you my friend! 🙂

    Brittany 🙂

    • Thank you Brittany!! You are a wonderful blogging friend! I love following you & love watching you grow! You are killing it as only you can do & that is so inspiring!! Than kyou for the sweet words! XOXO

  10. I totally get caught up in the numbers sometimes too. I wonder if I’d get more readers if I put the time (time I don’t have) into taking better pictures and posting more informational content. Maybe I’d have more readers if I posted prettier blog posts and not just ones about life as I know it.
    But like you, when I try to become something I’m not, I lose my pep. I lose my spark, and blogging becomes a chore. I usually contemplate quitting, because I start to feel frustrated.
    I’ve been in a bit of a funk lately myself, mostly because I’m a preggo mama who doesn’t get out a whole lot. 😉 And when I blog only once or twice a week, I feel that I failed some kind of blogging law.
    I’m trying to focus on just having fun with it right now. To write honestly and from the heart whenever I have the free time to.
    Your blog has always been awesome, but I LOVED reading this post in particular. You were raw, and honest, and real. And those are the best posts!! I can’t wait to see your next post. 🙂

    • Thank you so much Nicole!! It makes me…I don’t want to say happy, because I don’t want anyone to have to feel this way, but more at ease (?) to know I’m not the only one who gets down on themselves or their work. It’s hard to pursue something that you love …because you love it! You’re so invested in it & any hit you take hits extra hard. But being able to get back up and keep going is so important. Giving up would just make more room for someone else who preserves. There’s of course room for all of us, but it’s hard to stick it out, so being able to get through the rough patches is certainly a feat! I hope you’re enjoying every moment of being a pregnant mama & continue to have fun with your blog – it’s the only way to write!! 🙂

  11. I love your honesty in this post, I know that wasn’t easy to put out there. It is so easy to quit or forget why you started and SO hard to keep on. When I moved and switched jobs last spring, my blog became work and I hated staying up late just to get a post up. Blogging has always been a hobby so I knew I needed to step away before I completely tossed in the towel. I took some time off and my spark came back. I wish people were ok with being themselves. I know some that try so hard to be like others and it just breaks my heart, especially the ones i know personally. They’re already great so watching them try so hard is just so sad. It took me a long time to get here, but I’m finally at peace with me. I have flaws and I’m not perfect, but I’m happy as me. It’s a powerful feeling!

    • Hannah!! Thank you for your kind comment & for sharing your pep-losing moment. In my opinion, the moment your blog or whatever you love to do feels like work is the moment it stops working! I admire your ability to just do you & be content! Overall, I’m happy to be me, I just need to always remember that I’m more than enough. When things slow down or stats take a hit one month or whatever it may be, I need to not stress. It’s inevitable, you can’t always be up, you’re bound to go down once in a while. As long as you pick yourself back up with new insight & inspiration, I think it’s worth the fall. Thank you for always reading & being so supportive! You’re a wonderful blogging friend. 🙂 XOXOXO

  12. Oh Amanada, I UNDERSTAND you completely. And ironic that I decided to chech my feed today and saw this. Over the last 6 months I was in exactly this hut, I focused all my energy into rotations and forgot about me. My blog suffered, my grades suffered, and I suffered and it wasn’t until I made it my mission to start writing again that I began to feel more like myself, and everything around me began to feel easier, even studying. and in just 2 weeks I have already seen an increase in my productivity all around. Loving ourselves, and putting ourselves first is the most important thing for health, and to be successful. Still love your blog, and I wish you only the best in this new year. I hope to one day be able to broaden my blog. Much love <3

    • Thank you Jani!! I’m so glad you stumbled across this at the right time. It can be really difficult to manage everything we have going on, so giving up what seems least important in the grand scheme of things ends up being the worst choice to make. The “least” important tends to be the opposite, it’s the thing that pushes us & motivates us! I’m so glad you’ve been able to get back into a positive groove & make room for the things you love! I admire your dedication while you’re in med school! You are incredible!! XO

  13. This was amazing!! I needed this!! I felt and still kind of feel like I lost my pep! I hate the feeling so much because I love my blog so much!! But it’s good to take a break and re group. Xoxo

    Felicia Xo

  14. Oh Amanda what a beautiful soul you have! Thank you so so much for sharing your feelings. I do think we all have been through that phase of loosing ourselves into what others are doing and playing the comparison game which is really so damaging to ourselves. I felt so refreshed to read your post, and to b honest I did feel like something was going on with you probably because I can relate to it in so many levels (lots of insta pics and posts that I worked so hard never made it – self doubting my talent, etc) anyway cheers for a new year! Out with the numbers and in with the real people and relationships we can build through this amazing blogging journey!!!!

    • Karina you are the sweetest!! Thank you so much for the kind words!! I’ve missed seeing your beautiful face on my feed, but I hope you’ve been enjoying your Social Media fast! I love that you do that. I definitely was feeling a little off, but I’m happy to be bouncing back – it is much more fun that way!! We can all go through these phases, and it’s so nice to know we’re not the only ones who feel that way! I appreciate you taking the time to read and for your constant love & support — you are one of the kindest women I’ve come to know!! XOXOXO

  15. Thank you for sharing! I also feel a lot of pressure with blogging and social media and its becomes less enjoyable trying to keep up. This is a great post, Amanda! I look forward to your future posts!

    • Thank you for reading, Caitlin!! I think a lot of us can feel that way & I think it’s important to chat about it once in a while. There’s no way all these people are actually living as they appear in this delusional social media world – no wayyy! haha I appreciate your kind comment & I’m so glad you enjoyed!! XOXO

  16. Amazing!! I just got back from a vacation where I was determined to complete a 2017 goal: read 2 books. I thought I would take baby steps lol. Anyway, one book is called the Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brene Brown. She’s a researcher in SW and has researched barriers to happiness such as shame and vulnerability. She has a few TEDtalks out there. Anyway, GREAT read for us type A-ers. I definitely felt more motivated to seek for a more genuine happiness after reading it and continue my search in how to let things go. Then, after I finished my 2nd book, (in my overachiever fashion) I started another one called The Year of Yes by Shonda Rimes (you know producer of – Grey’s, Scandal, How to Get Away with Murder … HER!!). It’s kind of a memoir of how she overcame her anxieties of societal pressures and learned how to say “yes” without modifying what she wants or who she truly is. Feeling like we’re on the same vibes when I read your post & had to share!!! Fabulous post – can’t wait for more 🙂

    • Jaleesa!!! You are too funny!!!!!! Thank you so much for sharing this! I’m trying read a bit more this year as well – I’m right there with ya with 2 books down haha! But I am 100% checking out both of these ASAP, they sound right up my alley. In the meantime, I’m going to have to look up those TEDtalks too !! THANK YOU!!!! XOXOXO

  17. Can we all just take a moment to say how amazing you are!! This post is everything love! I actually went through the same thing this month. I just felt so burnt out and didn’t know what to do. Was I making the right choice with my blog/blogs? Is this really the way I wanted to go? I took most of January off and totally have been off IG for awhile to reflect on where I want to go.

    I totally needed this post to know that I am not the only one going through it! We got this girl! It is totally okay to take awhile off and to figure out exactly what we want to do! We will come back stronger and with more focus!

    I am just so proud of you and how honest you are! I love this serious and I am glad it is back! Thanks so much for sharing your heart with all your followers. I am also so glad that you are not quitting!! I can’t wait to see what 2017 has in store for you love! Let’s rock this year!!! And totally let ourselves take breaks when needed so we don’t become overwhelmed.

    Stay true to yourself no matter what! You seriously are such an inspiration! Beautiful both inside and out!

    • MWAH!! This was so sweet! I’m sorry you were feeling this way too…I can’t even imagine, you produce SO much more content that I do!! It can be stressful and overwhelming at times, but it IS fun & it does bring so much job ! I am definitely no quitting, I’ve come way too far to do that, but I am looking forward to moving forward in a new way! Just with posts that really excite me & things I’m eager to share! I’m so glad you enjoyed this post & I hope to share many more like it! Thank you for always being so kind & thoughtful! I am very grateful to have met ladies like you!! Here’s to making 2017 our best year yet!! XOXOXO

  18. I’m so proud of you in this post Amanda!!

    You go girl!! You’ve come all this way and i think it is so neat watching you transform like this.
    Not to mention you shared a lot of tips that resonate with me and that I could afford to improve upon.

    You’re beautiful woman, inside and out <3

  19. Thank you for sharing this sweetie as I am going thru the samething at the moment so uplifting and inspiring really really great and I love the pep idea 😘

  20. Amazing and inspiring. I’ve learned that patience can help rebuild pep. Realizing that the downs will pass and the haze will clear, and keeping that reality as a ready thought when I’m not at my best. Also, naps and showers help in a pinch haha all the best!

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