I am so happy to be back with another Becoming Bella post today! I promised I was going to get better about sharing them more regularly, and I’m doing my best to stick to it!
Warning: like the last one, this is a bit lengthy, but I think it’ll be a really great read. So let’s get right into it! Regarding the title of this blog…yes, I know…dramaaaa! But it’s not what you may think. This is not a diary entry about feeling sad or lonely, it’s quite the opposite really. I’m going to talk about something that many of us have been fearful of at one point or another…
The thoughts & opinions of other people.
This series began because I wanted to talk about the things that I’ve struggled with, overcome, and realized that I became better for it. This may have been one of my biggest feats yet!
If you can say that you have never once wondered what someone thought of you, I’m calling your bluff. Maybe you don’t feel that way now, but at one point you surely have. If you’ve been lucky enough to get to a point in life where the thoughts of others really don’t phase you, you know how liberating it can be. When we waste our time concerned about what other people think about us, and what we’re doing, we hold ourselves back. We prevent ourselves from growing, learning, exploring, or trying something new! For what?! For the fear of being criticized, laughed at, or made fun of? Fun fact: the “people” that we’re so worried about are A) probably not paying attention or b) really don’t care.
Okay, that sounds a little bit dramatic. Of course there are people who care. Our families and close friends are usually our biggest cheerleaders, they’re usually the first to try and push us out of our comfort zone, to encourage and support us in all that we do! The people who care are not usually the “people” we’re worried about.
So who exactly are we worried about? It could be the millions of people out there in the social media world (trolls included), the Facebook friends we’ve accumulated over the last 10 years, our former acquaintances, old classmates, co-workers, or distant relatives, perhaps? Here’s the thing… whether one of those people or thousands of those people catch wind of what you’re up to, one of a few things could happen; they may smile, they may laugh, they may roll their eyes, they may say something supportive, or maybe say something not so supportive…but once their opinion has been shared or their thought has been had, they’re going to move on. And we should too, because in reality, and in the nicest possible way…they don’t actually care.
When we’re scared to do something because of what others will think or say, we’re doing ourselves a major disservice. Realistically, what is the worst thing that could happen? Someone decides to make fun of you? If you’re doing something that you love, that you’re passionate about…who cares what they do or think? At the end of the day, that’s their problem, not yours. I give credit to anyone who truly puts themselves out there. I enjoy watching others pursue their passions without any hesitation. It keeps me motivated and inspired to continue doing the same. Cultivate a circle of those people. Do not be afraid to pursue your dreams because you’re scared of what people will think. The only person who is losing sleep over what you’re doing…is you.
Writing this blog and creating YouTube videos has become such a passion of mine, and something I had wanted to do for years! However, it was definitely something that I was fearful of embracing. I kick myself thinking about all of the time I wasted wondering if me or my content would be good enough, I was worried what others would think. But once I faced my own fears and bit that bullet, once I dove all in, once I just left my comfort zone, took this head on, and started doing it for me, I stared living a completely different life!
I’ve gotten to a point where I am completely unfazed by others opinions of me, and the things that I love to do. Of course I want people to enjoy the content that I’m creating, I hope it reaches eyes that will find it helpful, and nothing makes me happier than receiving positive feedback! But the days of being hesitant to write a certain blog post, or share an Instagram picture, or film a new YouTube video for fear of what others may think are long gone. Sometimes I create content that’s a really big hit, and sometimes I create content that’s a realllllly big miss. But at end of the day, I enjoy putting it together, and I’m doing these things for me. If I stopped producing posts, if I stopped speaking from my heart, if I held myself back because of fear…I wouldn’t literally be watching my dreams unfold before my eyes! I wouldn’t get to collaborate with some of the incredible brands that I’ve had the opportunity to collaborate with. I wouldn’t get invited to be a part of things like the No nonsense Campaign that I shot in NYC last week (can’t wait to share when it’s done)! As I was sitting on the set, I was watching this whole production crew operate, and I couldn’t believe what I was doing, I couldn’t believe they were setting this up for ME?! I actually felt tears well. It may not seem like a huge deal to anyone else, but for me, it was major. It was a very, very cool experience that I’ll cherish forever. But it just helped reiterate the point of this post (which I had actually drafted a couple of weeks beforehand!)…if I continued to be scared to put myself and my work out there, why would I EVER think that these opportunities would just happen? If I want a life that I’m proud of, a life that I love, a life that makes me happy, I’ve got to make it happen. And I can’t be scared to do it!
Hard work pays off people! You won’t always win, but you’ll always learn. And your “failures” will end up serving you in the most wonderful of ways.
To quote one of the best movies from the early 2000’s, A Cinderella Story (don’t fight me on this!) ;)…
“Don’t let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game”
The takeaway here is this… if you want to do something, do it. And do it for you! Don’t worry what anyone thinks. People are so busy worrying about their own lives, if they even take a moment to pay attention to you, good or bad, you should be flattered! This is your life, if you don’t go after what you want, I promise you…you’ll never have it.
Excited to see the No nonsense campaign and your post is encouraging to me I’ve been blogging for a year and a half now and starting to try the Youtube world and this post encourages me to not give up have an amazing Monday hun.
Thanks so much, girlie! I’m excited/nervous to see it too!! And oh my gosh, do it, do it, do it!! There’s nothing to lose & everything to gain! Have a great week. XOXO
Such an incredible post!!! You make a very, very good point when you say that after someone’s reaction (be it good or bad) THEY move on with their life and so should we! I’ve put myself out there quite a bit over the past year, and while I do still give into my hesitations some of the time, it’s pretty liberating to see how far I’ve come!! I am so happy for you and can’t wait to see all of your hard work unfold! <3
Thank you!! It’s been so cool to watch you grow & become more comfortable putting yourself out there – blogging is an adventure that I really believe only gets easier with time! You get to a point where it really doesn’t matter what others are thinking. You begin to develop a thicker skin and build up your confidence & before you know it, you’re not worried about anything else but getting to where you want to go! Thanks for reading, Dana & keep up all of your amazing work!! More good things are coming!! XO 🙂
What a great read – so inspiring! And you make a very good point. The people I usually “pay attention” to, as far as what they are doing, are people I know, and of course, I want them to succeed. It brings joy to watch others reach their goals. I’m not spending my time picking apart other people’s lives, so why would I think they’re doing that to me? And if they are, well, that’s a little sad. I probably shouldn’t spend my time and energy worrying about what they think. The person paying the closest attention to me is ALWAYS me. Right? I love the Michael Jordan poster that says, “I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that’s why I succeed.”
It’s so true!! I love that quote! The failures are the best, they really do teach us how to succeed. It’s such a great feeling when you’re able to simply not worry about what others are doing or thinking. That energy and attention should be focused on bettering yourself & working towards your goals! Thanks for reading, Connie – and sharing that quote. I’m glad you enjoyed! XO
Fantastic post and wonderful advice!
Thanks so much for reading!! 🙂 XO
This was a really good reminder. Thank you💖
Thanks, Alissa! I’m so glad that you enjoyed it! XO 🙂
AMANDA!!!! This post is so, so good. I’m very happy to see you so happy! Love watching you go for it and can’t wait to see more. I’m always cheering for you chickie 🙂 Miss you XO
Kenya!!! Thank you so much!! 🙂 You’re the best – I miss you & your energy. I think about you often. We must get together again soon. Thank you for reading, I hope everything is wonderful with you and the family! XOXO 🙂
We really do have to get together, I’ve just been in my winter cocoon transforming 😉 but I think about you a lot too. I cannot wait to see this campaign – you look gorgeous as always, and I’m so happy for you!! Talk soon.
LOL! I’ve definitely been pretty recluse this winter as well. You’re always transforming & growing, I love it, I miss it!!! Let’s do something outdoors when it warms up! And thank you, I’m excited (& nervous) to see the campaign come to life myself! XOXO
Great post! And A Cinderella Story is still a good movie haha. Whenever I hear someone say “anything is possible” I want to say “…if you just believe”!
HAHAHA!! I am obsessed with that movie. I still watch it all the time, love CMM & the old school Hilary Duff! And the new school one too, she’s the cutest! Thanks for reading, Mama! XOXO
Great post Amanda! It’s crazy all the things we hold ourselves back from.
It’s CRAZY!! Thanks for reading, love!! Enjoy the rest of your week! XO
I LOVE this, amazing post. I am so happy you have found a beautiful way to put this into words. I have been on this road, and for this same reason I was scared to share my blog on my social in the beginning. Once I shared it the first time, I have received nothing but good comments and lots of support from everyone. I can’t wait to get back into making YT vids! Keep going forward, and I can’t wait to see where life takes you (and me too hehe).
Yes!! I love this Jani!! It can be scary. I had my blog for 3-4? years before I shared it on Facebook. And the day I drafted a post on personal page, I literally hit send & went to bed so I didn’t have to watch. But it’s so true, you’ll always get way more support than you think & it honestly just propels you to do more! Putting yourself out there helps to thicken your skin & build up your confidence really quickly – I’m so grateful for that. I’m so glad to have connected with you & love watching you grow too – I can’t wait to see where you go next!! XO
I wish there was a LARGE LOVE EMOJI because I would press it 50x!!! Love this so much… And I love agreeing and being able to relate to your posts about blogging! Worrying and fear is the worst part about putting yourself out there and I had to just throw it out the window and STOP! This has opened so many more doors for me and YOU!!! You are killing it and I love watching you grow! I cant wait to see the rest of your fun photoshoot!! Love ya girlfriend!!!! 🙂
Thank you, Brittany!!! I love watching you grow too! I love watching everyone grow because it literally just proves that it’s possible and that there’s room for everyone. It’s the best motivation. Having the confidence to just do, wear, and say whatever you want without worrying about others is priceless. If we stopped doing any of this tomorrow, I’m sure that the things we’ve learned from blogging would benefit us in any other life situation! I’m so glad others can relate, sometimes I debate whether I should share these things or if it’s too “unprofessional” and then I remember, ‘oh! I don’t care what anyone thinks & this is who I am and what I think needs to be said!’ Haha. I appreciate you always reading & supporting. You’re my girl!!! XOXO
I love these posts so much. You always seem to write about things that have been on my heart or mind. It took me a while to get over the fear of what other people think. You are so right about everything–they probably don’t even care, notice, or worry about it and it is SO liberating once you let go. I can’t wait to see more about the campaign and they couldn’t have picked a better person!
Thank you, Hannah!! I’m so glad you enjoy them, I really enjoy writing them. 🙂 It is a great feeling to let go…of course people care, but not as much as we think they do & I know I’ve certainly held myself back because of that fear. It makes me LOL really, like who did I think was actually sitting at home waiting to laugh at me? If somebody was, then I genuinely feel sorry that they have nothing better to do ha. But thank you for reading & always being a kind & supportive voice, it means a lot! And thank you about the campaign, it really was a cool experience that I was honored to be a part of. I’m excited to see how it all turns out!! 🙂 XOXO
Amen amen AMEN girl!!! Preach! This is so good and right on. I am too at that point where I could don’t let anyone’s opinions phase me and it’s quite liberating! I think for me, it has come with age, unfortunately LOL (cause I’m old) but it’s so refreshing. I completely agree that we need to surround ourselves with people that pursue their passions without hesitation! Just seeing your posts inspire me! You’re rocking it, girl!! Can’t wait to see this video you did 🙌🏼
Aw thanks for reading Mary!! I’m getting up there in age too…and it is most definitely easier as you get older!! Hah I just wish everyone could have that wisdom when they’re young!! I’m so grateful to have gotten to this point, but so would have loved little 21 year old me to realize it sooner. I love following you & so many other ladies, you girls really do keep me inspired!! I appreciate you taking the time to read!! Keep up all of YOUR great work too!! 🙂 XOXO
Love this! And love the quote from A Cinderella Story!